Ten Minutes: Barbecue
If you can't formally cook, at least learn how to work a barbecue. Obviously, it will take skill to master but, in the meantime, it's one of the most forgiving and delicious ways to make a meal. You also get to play with fire which is always a good time. If you do it in a group, people will even bring you beers and fawn over your commitment to the craft. It must be the sweat beading on your brow, but that's only a byproduct of working near an open flame. You'll be doing more chilling than grilling. Oh your hamburger and hotdog were delicious? I'm shocked. Turns out hot meat is an American favorite and always will be. Even vegetables taste better on a barbecue. You can't go wrong.
Never fess up to how easy it is to pull off, either. Soak up the adoration and keep cranking out the classics. Get fancy in your spare time and shuffle in new recipes as you get more confident. Trust me, this is easy mode. Embrace the affection as you work your way into everyone's stomachs and hearts.