Ten Minutes: Cleaning

Nothing is more gratifying than a clean home, but motivating yourself to swap the TV remote for a vacuum cleaner is nearly impossible. This is evidenced by the amount of faith people have in a full trash can; awkwardly balancing food scraps on top of each other in an attempt to avoid the inevitable. The impulse to pick-up after yourself usually strikes when your house is already unbearably filthy. Or you’ve accidentally invited company over and don’t want to be ashamed when they find you living in squalor. Then it’s time to wipe away the grime and finally pick up that piece of pepperoni you dropped last week. As soon as that’s taken care of, you realize there’s dust everywhere, which is the worst because that mess isn’t even your fault. It’s just a byproduct of time, lingering in every corner as proof that you can barely take care of yourself. Get out of here, dust. Get out here, mess. You know what? Get out of here, guests, too. Forget it. I just want to eat pizza off my floor in peace.