Ten Minutes: Cupcakes

Hot takes on cupcakes.

The cupcake was originally a member of the muffin family, but was cast out after its sickening sweetness was revealed. Finding refuge in the cake tribe, the cupcake was continually ridiculed for its basic structure and ridiculous proportions. 

What I’m saying is that in the genus of desserts, cupcakes are barely a blip on the radar. If you hand somebody a cupcake, you’re handing them a mess. They’re going to get it all over their hands and then they’re going to have to find a place to throw away a soggy cake napkin. I don’t want to hear about the “cut it in half and make a sandwich” solution, either. You need to take a break from the internet. Nobody brought a knife to this party and I don’t have a vacuum cleaner with me.